What is Salvation? There is a separation between us and God. God is holy — and we are sinners. Because of this separation we needed a savior. God send his son, Jesus, to be that savior. Jesus lived a pure live and gave up this life for us by dying on the gross. John 3:16- “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not parish, but have everlasting life.” When we except his gift and repent of our sins we call it Salvation.
During an afternoon service at a teen camp, the lord began to work in my heart. I was under heavy conviction and I was really nervous. I went to the front and said a prayer. My prayer was sincere and I truly did want to know Jesus Christ, but nothing changed.
For 9 years I thought I was saved and that I knew Christ. I Kept telling myself :
I love the Lord
I love being in church
I love to sing praises to him
I love to do ministry and I did it all with the right attitude
= I must be Saved
However, I always had this emptiness and burden in my heart. I kept telling myself that if I just read my bible more, if I just did more work in the church, or if I just prayed harder, than it would go away. I did this for 9 years, and whenever I felt under conviction and whenever God was trying to get a hold of me—- I just pushed Him away and thought it was because of some sin in my life.
In 2009, I attended an evening service at our Teen Camp. During the singing I was listening to the words of the songs. Every line I sang I thought-I want that. I want to know that” Jesus Paid It All.” I want to sing “My Jesus, I Love Thee! I Know Thou Art Mine” and really truly know.
I finally gave up and left the service. I went into the dark auditorium and cried out to God. I did everything I thought I was supposed to; I wanted to get it settled. I cried and cried and cried, I got angry, I cried more, I tried everything. The problem was that I was trying. I knew everything in my head and I sincerely wanted God. I was really confused because in my mind I had everything checked off:
√-I knew I was a sinner and willing to admit that.
√-I loved the Lord and knew he was real.
√-I knew Christ died for my sins on the cross.
√-I called upon His name.
I knew all of this, I have been taught all this for my whole life, so in my mind I had to be saved.
I talked to lots of people, I held on to every word they said. Any ounce of wisdom they could give me I would take to heart. Finally after praying a lot with other people and talking I realized something.
I was not looking at what Christ did for me on the cross. I knew it in my head but I just had to believe that it was enough. Yes- I was a sinner, Yes – I called upon is name but I was missing a big part of what God wanted. He wanted me to believe on Him and put my full faith in Him.
That night I read 1 John chapter 1. I read it a bunch of times and I kept getting hung up on the end of 1 John 1:7 “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, ***and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.” Each time I read that chapter, and each time I got to that verse I started to feel more at peace. I kept reading this over and over and it all became clear. I cannot pinpoint the exact time it happened but I just knew that it did. I realized that what Jesus Christ did on the cross for me was enough, it did not matter what I did or how I asked him. This had been something that I always knew but finally I just believed it. I got hung up on all this technical stuff and forgot the most important thing: WHAT CHRIST DID FOR ME!
Now I know that I know Christ! My burden is gone, my doubt has disappeared and I feel free!